Now, I start today’s rant with the pre-cursor that I am by no means a skinny chick. I am quite uhm… “well-endowed” in the plus size department.

And, I freely admit it. I’m not entirely comfortable with this, and am working to change it. But while I’m working to change it, I’m honest about things. If I’m going to have what i refer to as a “Fuck it” day, then I’m going to not bother with health food and just get whatever’s cheap and easy (ohh yeah there’s a real obvious joke there). But I’m going to be honest about it. I’m going to say, “this junk food is going to affect my system. i am choosing to have this food instead of a healthier option, and will have to make up for it later.” I don’t sit here, moaning about not having any idea why I’m not losing weight, when i know exactly why and accept the consequences of my actions. I have an off-day, i have to have a harder fight for the “on-days”. do an extra few rounds on the bike, cut down on the portions for a few days, whatever.

What drives me to absolute distraction, is when people do this shit, and then either a), can’t understand why they’re not losing weight or putting it on and COMPLAIN CONSTANTLY; or b) which is even WORSE in my opinion, actually think that they’re losing weight and go on about how much their figure has improved.

You may consider a multi-grain bread sandwich with salad a healthy lunch. But not when you have two of them, with half a packet of ham per portion, pickles, relishes, mustard, and then follow it up with a 600mL coke and a huge bag of chips. JUST BECAUSE YOU’RE EATING HEALTHY DOES NOT MEAN YOU EAT A FUCKLOAD OF HEALTHY. KEY TO LOSING WEIGHT IS PORTION SIZES. JESUS.

I really, well and truly don’t care if you choose a huge unhealthy lunch. but be HONEST about it. Don’t stand there in front of the mirror marvelling about how you’ve lost your stomach when we can still see is hanging out over your belt line like some muffin spilling over the tray seeking freedom from its confines.

Don’t sit there and try to delude yourself by telling everyone how you’re finally fitting into a size 12 pair of jeans. It’s one thing to do it alone in the mirror and convince yourself that you’re looking more and more like Kate Moss every day when you’re blowing $200 a week on gym fees that do sweet fuck all for your figure, but if you’re going to be that completely and utterly false to yourself, don’t go around making the remarks to everyone around you. It’s sad, and makes you look fuckin retarded.

And at the other end of the spectrum, fuck fishing for compliments. The next girl at work that goes “ugh i’m so fat” or some self-defeating comment for the SOLE PURPOSE of those within earshot going “ohh no darling you’re beautiful/thin/wonderful” I won’t be chiming in with the comments they so desperately crave. Oh no. I’m going to agree with them.

“Yeah your legs look fucking atrocious are you sure the gym memberships are paying off? looks like you’re wasting your money at the moment.”

“Have you looked at liposuction and other surgical enhancements?”

“Yeah i hope its not genetics or your kids are fucked.”

Seriously. Stop it. All of you.

Dear People on level ## at my place of occupation,

Specifically, the women. If this doesn’t apply to you, or if you agree with me, congratulations. You are in my good books.

To the rest of you- OH MY SWEET FEXICAN JESUS, WHY DO THE WOMEN’S TOILETS ALWAYS SMELL LIKE ASS?!

Seriously. Fucking hygene is completely not on your list of priorities?? There isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t walk into that fucking bathroom to find toilet paper sheets scattered everywhere, paper towles on the floor near the bin, tampon and/or maxipad wrappers OR THE ACTUAL PRODUCTS THEMSELVES on the floor… Are you that fucking lazy that you can’t pick up after yourselves?

WHAT is the GO with your inability to follow basic principles of cleanliness? IN A BATHROOM. I would never want to see the state of your disgusting house.

Side note- to the person with either morning sickness, bullemia or  an inability to keep your stomach contents in your stomach; Have you not heard of the “once for the party, twice for the friends” rule?? If I can still see your stomach lining floating in the fucking bowl, you haven’t flushed anywhere near as much as you should.

Every time I walk in there I feel like i’m going to walk out with some kind of disease. WHY you ask? BECAUSE YOU WOMEN DON’T FUCKING CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELF.

Sure, its part of my job to deal with other people’s shit, but I sure as fuckery do NOT get paid to clean up YOURS IN A LITERAL SENSE.

HAVE some fucking RESPECT for yourself and the ENVIRONMENT that has been provided to you and fucking CLEAN. UP.

THERE’S A BRUSH RIGHT NEXT TO THE DAMN TOILET FOR A REASON.

GOD I HATE YOU ALL.

I read this article on news.com.au earlier this morning about how some “leading psychology professor” has stated “PARENTS who let their teens sip champagne at a relative’s wedding or give them a glass of wine over dinner are setting them on a path to binge drinking.”

Now, for starters, I wish this society was more like Italy. They embrace wine, not as the heavy drinking culture we Australians are so used to, but as what it is. Fermented grapes, whatever. They let their kids have wine at the dinner table and teach them that alcohol isn’t taboo. When the kids come of age, they treat their drinking as an indulgence, and look down on anyone that gets completely shitfaced. Its taboo to get drunk and act like an idiot there. Now I won’t say that that represents Italian people as a whole, as I’m sure there’s a couple of wogs out there that enjoy getting plastered off their tits.

The thing that pisses me off about this article, AND the whole issue about binge drinking in general, is the absolute blind ignorance of the root of the whole thing.

Something I don’t think many people have taken into consideration- Binge drinking isn’t the problem.

Binge drinking, is a SYMPTOM OF the PROBLEM.

Everyone, politicians, family groups, media channels are all focusing on the OMGWHAT rather than actually looking at the WHY.

WHY do people get drunk? What is it about alcohol and its effects on the body that is appealing to younger generations?

I can give a few examples in the hundreds. Alcohol is a form of escapism. Because there’s no education from a young age about stress and anger management, because there’s a detachment from being completely open and honest with family and friends in society, alcohol is a vice that is used for the sake of temporarily escaping the stress. I know this because this was why I drank heavily when I was younger.

Alcohol also lowers inhibitions should you so choose to let it affect you. Self-esteem issues run rampant through today’s society and many people have been imprinted with the “you need to get drunk to feel good and feel normal”.

it fucking pisses me the fuck off because putting tax hikes onto mixers didn’t solve the BINGE DRINKING CRISIS (omg!), it only had the young adults swapping out the low alcohol slutcohol vodka cruisers and Bacardi Breezers for pooling money together and getting a 2 for $50 special on the hard alcohol and mixing their own drinks. “OH YEY!” cried the government a few months after they’d intro’d the tax on pre-mixed drinks. “PREE MIXED ALCOHOL SALEZ ARR DOWN BY 16%!” and then covered their ears and screamed “LALALALALALALALALALA” when someone pointed out that hard liquor sales had jumped by 47%.

Politicians love using the youth binge drinking issue as a political soap box subject for their campaigns, but I’ve yet to hear one actually address the cause of it, and ways to go about resolving it. Why do we drink so much? In our culture. To escape. To relax. To let go and have fun. Why are people turning to drinking instead of other avenues of stress release? Why do people need to be drunk to go out and have a good time?

When they can’t figure out the solution to it, they just slap a fucking ban on it. Education can go a long fucking way in this country, and I wish to christ they’d start treating the populace with a little bit of knowledge.